The Otakuologist

Hey guys, check this out.

Spooky, no?

The Otakuologist has just discovered an anime that both intrigued and scared the crap out of.  Intrigued because he enjoyed the story of “Hell Girl” and horrified because apparently some enterprising otaku has actually created a “Hell Correspondence” Site.

It’s true.  I checked it out.  But trust me, there was no follow through.

The Otakuologist isn’t superstitious or anything, but he didn’t get to be The Otakuologist by pressing his luck.

Okay, maybe he’s a little superstitious.

Anyways, if any of you braver folks want to give it a go, click the link above or click down below (heh, down below).

http://www.jigokutsushin.co.nr/

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Image via Wikipedia

Around this time of year, millions, no billions of people begin to wonder and plan what they want to do with their lives in the next twelve months. I too rattled around with this idea and came up with what I believe are the top ten New Years Resolutions for all otaku. Read, enjoy and let me know if you agree or disagree and tell me your top ten in the comments section below.

The Top Ten New Years Resolutions For Otaku

1. Enjoy Your Life

One thing that I’m learning to do this year is accept who I am; and who I am is a nerd, a geek, an otaku. I may not be a full otaku yet, but I am definitely an otaku in training. That means that I have given up trying to be like “everybody else” and more like myself.

So phase two of this acceptance of myself is to begin to enjoy the life that I have created for myself. This means learning new things about the lifestyle I have chosen, and getting to know people who enjoy the same things I do. My number one resolution then is to be who I am and to enjoy being me.

2. Get To Know Your Friends

I have a tendency to isolate myself and worse; I tell myself that I enjoy being alone. Then, when buffeted by loneliness and acne ridden by Pocky abuse, I tell myself that it’s everybody elses fault. They’re the reason I am the way I am. They’re the reason I have no friends. They’re the reason I’m all alone.

My number two resolution then? Get out and make some friends and get to know the ones I already have better.

On the same note, making new friends and getting to know them better doesn’t mean just online. I suspect that the best way to know someone is to actually see them as they are… acne and all. There’s just something about shaking a man (or woman’s) hand, hearing their voice, accepting them as they are and knowing that they accept you.

So resolution number 2.5? Get to know people in person.

3. Get Fit

In 2007, I wen’t to my first convention: ComicCon. I was 43 and didn’t really know what to expect. What I saw were some of the best examples of cosplay I’d ever seen. My roommate, who introduced me to the convention scene convinced me to dress up for the occasion. We made homemade ‘zombie hunter’ costumes. Very poor zombie hunter costumes I must say; they consisted of a pair of ripped jeans, t-shirts stained with red food dye and paper face masks to block the ‘zombie virus’ from our airways.

In 2010 I plan on visiting Akihabara to see cosplay as it was meant to be seen, and I will be dressed up as Jet Black, of ‘Cowboy Bebop‘ fame. In order to look good doing that, I’ll have to lose some of this belly fat I’ve accumulated over the past few years.

Resolution number three? Get in shape to look good as Jet.

4. Get Out More

You must have noticed something by now. These resolutions seem to overlap each other and that’s the way it should be. New Years Resolutions are like pieces of a puzzle; they seem separate when looked at individually but when put together they make a fine picture of life.

But I digress. Going back to the isolation theme, I have a tendency to be fearful of meeting others. When doing so I tend to become self conscious and fidgety. Meeting others who share my interests seem to calm me down some, and I don’t worry if I’m being to talkative, or if I look too fat. So my fourth resolution is to either find a meetup.com group dedicated to otaku or creating one myself. That way I can find like minded people who are also looking for new friends.

5. Learn Something New

I like anime figures. However, I can’t afford anime figures; have you priced those things lately? But I’ve found something just as good as owning anime figures at a fraction of the cost. Papercraft. There are a bunch of anime papercraft projects out there just waiting to be built, and I only have to pay for paper and ink.

Resolution number five for me is to learn something new. Anime papercraft is one of the many options available.

6. Get Organized

If you ever saw my room, the first thing you’d notice is how cluttered it is. In order for me to have a place to put all my newly created papercraft figures or whatever anime PVC figures I’m able to purchase I’ll have to organize my room a little better.

Getting organized also means time as well. Fortunately there are ways to do this. A day timer, some of the free scheduling software out there, how can I miss. By this time next year I’ll be an organized maniac.

7. Save Some Money

I’m one of those people who’s always complaining that I don’t have enough money. Yet, I have little to none in my savings account. I realize that I don’t make a lot at my job (I just cleared $12 and hour), but that’s no reason to not save at least a little.

I read a book years ago called The Richest Man in Babylon.  One of the most important points this book had to make was that everyone should save 10% of all of their income. Not making a lot of money at my job can make saving 10% a little hard, but it can’t be that hard to save at least 1% and work my way up to ten, right?

8. Help Your Fellow Otaku

Realizing that I’m not the only one in the world with the problems I have makes me realize that in order to improve myself, I have to share my ideas with others, right or wrong. This means I should be able to allow others to share with me as well. Otakus helping otakus is the theme of this resolution. That’s why I wrote this post in fact. I realize I’m no expert. But I can be if I’m open to sharing ideas.

9. Visit Akihabara

Akiba is to otaku what Mecca is to Muslims. When I go there I can only imagine what it’ll be like but I see it like this. New electronics, new anime DVD’s, new manga and me in my hotel room clutching bags of the stuff I’ve bought, grinning and drooling like an idiot. And enjoying it.

10. Go To A Convention

I’ve already spoken on this but a little expansion on the subject.

Conventions are where otaku can meet and greet on the otaku’s terms. When I went to ComicCon in 2007 one thing I noticed was that everyone was willing to pose for the camera, and did it with style and panache. Try going up on the street to someone and asking to take their picture, as I’ve done. Three times out of ten I was threatened with bodily harm.

I hope you’ve learned a little something about making resolutions from this article. Always remember that no resolution is written in stone. They’re more like water, winding it’s way around and being shaped by the life of the resolver. It’s not getting the resolutions done that matters, believe it or not. It’s the journey, not the result that is the best thing.

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1. The Laws of Physics don’t apply.
2. Girls are able to punch guys into orbit apparently.
3. Guys are allowed to punch girls if they piss them off enough.
4. Anime is often made better by bad fansubs
5. Sometimes the bad guys just won’t die!
6. Explosions are never as cool as they are in anime.
7. When fighting, women secrete an incredibly strong glue from their nipples and privates that keeps the clothing in those areas from being ripped away.
8. Being in a hentai anime removes this ability from women.
9. Men can confess their love to women, even before going on one date.
10. Women can confess their love to men.
11. Age apparently doesn’t matter.
12. There is no problem a giant robot, giant gun, giant sword or a combination of any of the above won’t solve.

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The Otakuologist offers you a Holiday gift.  Enjoy!

And for you game ota out there…

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The Otakuologist wishes to apologize to his readers (both of them), for taking so long to post.  He wishes to inform you that after the holidays he will have some rather interesting content for you to participate in, however you’ll have to wait until January 15 2010 to peruse it.

In normal terms, I’m gonna have something really cool for you guys to enjoy.  Coming Soon:  The How to be Otaku newsletter course!  That’s right, if you want to be otaku, this course is the one for you!

To make sure that you understand what you’ve learned there will be interactive quizzes that you MUST pass in order to go to the next lesson.  Stay tuned folks, the best is yet to come!

If you’d like to be put on the waiting list ahead of time, go ahead and sign up for The Otakuologists mailing list and you’ll be the first to know when you can begin your course!

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Over at Japan Today, there’s a really inspirational (for Otakus anyway) article about the Otagei, or ‘otaku art’ which is a series of moves performed en masse by our brothers in the east.  The best way The Otakuologist can explain it, it’s sort of a nerdcore “Electric Slide.”

What, you need an example?  Fine, here ya go.

View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

The music played to accompany the dance is often an insanely addictive, upbeat tune.  If you can hear some of these songs and not want to dance, there’s something wrong.

View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

As The Otakuologist implied above, there’s something wrong if you didn’t watch this video by Morning Musume and start dancing or bouncing around in your chair or couch or whatever.  You are either dead or worse, you’re not otaku and you don’t belong here.  I’m talking to you, cool people!

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The Otakuologist is a connoisseur of fine cinema. To him there are three requirements for him to give his five stars of approval. First, it has to be based on an anime or at least some form of nerd entertainment, i.e. a comic book or a cartoon he watched when he was a wee little otaku (See Speed Racer).

Second, it has to have either blood, gore or stuff gettin’ blowed up real good. One of these is enough. Preferably all three.

Finally, in order for The Otakuologist to render a verdict of a perfect movie it has to allow him to suspend his disbelief. The best way to do this is to follow the first two rules and leave the movie unencumbered by any sort of plot. Although Crank 2 was able to do this without having to follow rule number one.

Alas, “Ninja Assasin.” only fits two of the three criteria as well. Although there is some speculation that it is actually a live action version of “Ninja Scroll”, there’s no real evidence of that. Fortunately there was so much violence I didn’t actually have to care. Now if only there was a sex scene bigger romatic element, I could go to geek heaven a happy otaku.

Don’t be lookin’ for a review here. If you want a review, go to Rotten Tomatoes or something. This is just a blog post of a geek still reeling over the first really cool death of the film. The Otakuologist will not reveal it. He will simply tell you that while you may expect it, you still won’t expect it.

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The Otakuologist has decided to take a different approach to this blogging thing. First, he has decided to write in the third person but do not worry my reader friends. He will not take in an “I am royalty” type of thing. He just wants to have a little fun with the way he looks at life and the world.

Secondly, The Otakuologist has decided to preach the virtues of being otaku. And for those of you who are not otaku, join us and learn how to be the best. Learn to be otaku.

Assuming that’s what you’re here for, you must realize that one of the first things us American otaku learn (or try) to do is learn how to speak Japanese, since Japan is where most of our entertainment and cultural references… uh… refer to. But what if you don’t speak Japanese and you can’t afford the Rosetta Stone software?

Don’t worry my ignorant little reader friend. The Otakuologist is here to help. In his travels across cyberland he has come across a simple and easy way to make your intentions known to your Japanese speaking acquaintances. It is the very easy series of lessons from Remi February and Ken Tanaka called “How To Speak Fluent Japanese Without Saying A Word” and it is in a word… awesome.

Here is Lesson 1 for your perusal:

There you have it. Now you can speak Japanese fluently without saying a word.

Check back for more of The Otakuologists otaku lessons.

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I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am about this papercraft thing.  This ain’t no ordinary orgami folks.  And I’ve just realized that there are ways that you can create your own anime figures using papercraft but that’s for a different post.  I want you all to be on the lookout for something really cool in the next few days or so.  A little gift for you… a little fun for me… a little happiness for all of us who really can’t afford to pay for expensive anime figures.  Who says there can’t be anime papercraft otaku?

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Okay, so it seems that the theme I was using somehow wouldn’t let comments be posted so I switched back to the “Kubrick” theme.  It doesn’t look bad but I really miss that other theme.  But you can comment now.  Please?  Pretty please?

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