The Otakuologist

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As we have already entered a new year, I find it comforting to look back on the last one and reflect on lessons that I’ve learned from experience. Since I’ve experienced practically nothing over the last year except eating, sleeping and watching anime, my reflections have been rather limited. However, there are actual bonafide lessons that I’ve picked up and now I’d like to share them with you.

Consider this an apology for this post.

What I’ve learned from anime:

1. It’s actually not so hard to get a girl who treats you coldly to fall in love with you, provided that you save her from some supernatural threat, like weightlessness.
2. To tell the truth, if a girl treats you coldly, she really likes you.
3. It’s okay to hit a girl, even with a baseball bat, if you’re surprised or pissed off enough.
4. Some girls, when hit with a baseball bat, pee themselves in… ecstasy?
5. When a guy gets sexually excited, he gets a nosebleed. Apparently, this is a turn on for girls, even though they don’t realize it yet.
6. It’s totally fine for an android with a fully developed realistic looking female body dressed as a maid to fall in love with a twelve year old boy.
7. It’s entirely possible for a fully developed realistic looking female android dressed as a maid to exist in the 1920s.
8. Haruhi Suzumiya seriously needs to get laid. Seriously.
9. Apparently all males in Japan just don’t care how old a female is.
10. Women secrete a certain substance from their (ahem) naughty parts that keeps their clothing from being ripped away from or even falling off of them.
11. On the chance that clothes are ripped away from said naughty bits, women secrete another substance that immediately pixilates these areas.
12. Eyeglasses are a turn on.
13. So are cat ears.
14. And tails.
15. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
16. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
17. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
18. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
19. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
20. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
21. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
22. “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya” is my favorite anime.
23. Get it?

These are some of the lessons I’ve learned from the glory that is anime. I’d like to hear from you if you have more to add. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. Even if you hate it, I’d love to know.

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I came across this which I consider to be a very clever way of continuing the relationship between Haruhi Suzumiya and Kyon.  I wish I knew what “app” they were talking about though.
Check it out here: http://community.livejournal.com/dear_mun/14205050.html

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